Mental Health Awareness: Grief and loss

Huntington Health recently offered a special presentation about grief as part of its Senior Care Network Noon Hour Series. Grief can surface through many different experiences and in many different ways – from grieving a loved one to experiencing loss of your home or treasured possessions. Los Angeles County Department of Mental Health’s Idalia Oquendo recently shared some valuable information about grief and some do’s and don’ts to keep in mind.

Grief can be a result of many different types of loss, here’s just a few:

1. Loved Ones: including partners, friends, and other important members of your community/inner circle
2. Health: Dealing with serious illness and loss or decline of physical ability
3. Existential: losing your sense of identity

In addition to types of loss, Idalia also included several common reactions to loss, which can be shown through physical, mental, and behavioral changes. Some examples include:

1. Physical: Fatigue, Insomnia, and Loss of Appetite
2. Mental: Tearfulness, Mood Swings, and Guilt
3. Behavioral: Social Isolation, Irritability, and Low Energy

While it is crucial to recognize these changes in yourself and those around you, it is equally vital to learn how to respond to these changes. When you or someone you love is dealing with grief, it is important to not only provide comfort during this trying time but also additional support.

Below is a list of “unhelpful” comforting phrases, in addition to a number of phrases that can provide both comfort and support to the individual.

Unhelpful Phrases/Responses:

1. “Time heals all wounds.”
2. “Cheer up!”
3. “They are better off.”
4. “Everything happens for a reason.”

Helpful Phrases/Responses:          

1. “I’m sorry you are going through this.”
2. “I’m here and I want to listen.”
3. “I can’t imagine how much this hurts”

Even with these tools in hand, grief is an unpredictable process that can vary from person to person. Idalia states, “There are people who don’t get emotional. There are people who cry in the moment. So, every human being differs in their reactions [to grief].”

Regardless of how you or your loved one is reacting to grief, it is important to reach out to a mental health professional if extra support is needed.

To watch Idalia’s entire presentation, and for more information about Senior Care Network, go to: Noon Hour | Huntington Hospital